IF you know me in real life, please be oblivious about this blog. Please respect my privacy.
I choose to blog anonymously for a reason.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Daily gratitude

We have started something new as a couple. It's been 3 nights now (as of Tue as I write this post to be scheduled). We each have a mini notebook (555) and a pen next to our bedside table. Before we sleep, we take 5 minutes to write what we are grateful for for the day. Before we begun, we thought we might not have much to write since it is daily. But wow, were we in for a surprise. Every night our list seem to be growing. You will realize you have many things to be grateful for. Having to open your eyes every morning is something to be grateful for. We let our unconscious to think of what to write. For me, I just hold the pen, and not think consciously. And I begin to write. You see, consciously I have many things. The air we breathe, we have shelter, I have eyes to see, etc etc. So when I let my unconscious to think just for the day, then it picks up things I am grateful for for that day. 

Try it out. Remember, gratitude equals abundance. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Ola!

As I sit here accompanying my mom in the clinic, I decided to update my blog. 
Ahh long overdue. It's been over a month I think! Damn. Talk about being consistent eh? 
Well, the chaos has taken over. Or rather we allowed it to take over. *meh* 

So what's been happening? A lot of things. The husband tried his hands in a few ventures, and nothing really stuck. There was a lot of friction going on between us as well. We used to fight almost everyday. It became exhausting. To the extend I started to despise having him around. I'd rather go out and spend the day alone somewhere. Now being from a NLP Coach (more on this later), I knew something was not right. 

So one day, I decided to fight it out. I told him let's do his values. Let's see what is important to his unconscious. He of course had to ask me to do it for him. It's a coach thingy. We can only help if you ask. So after a while, he asked. And we did it. 

To my shock, his top three values were stability / security, love and happiness. 
That is values in general. Now let me tell you my values specifically for finances. It were happiness, love and right at number ten was security. 

So you see the huge gap there? No wonder we've been arguing. No wonder he couldn't take it me being so laid back and cool about both of us not having a permanent job. No wonder I couldn't fathom what was eating him day in day out. He chose to quit. No one put a gun to his head. Yes, what he planned out didn't work out so well, but to me, everyday is a gift, just pick yourself up again and move on. Finally it came to light. Of course there was still an event that I haven't gotten over. Despite numerous attempts. Anyway, this is for another post. 

The hubs has been offered a job. The office is just mere 10 min away compared to 2 to 3 hours drive before this esp during peak hours. We haven't informed anyone as he is yet to receive an offer letter. All talk and no black and white is something we've learned. So let's wait and see. 

Hubs is someone who needs structure and order. Otherwise, it's chaotic. Everything goes haywire. So now we know, hubs is not cut out for solely doing his own thing. He has to have structure, order which gives him the stability and security and all his own thing he is doing can be done on a part time basis. 

Life. Never stops surprising us. What a gift!


Cool yourself with just RM1 and at the same time, donate!


Tuesday, May 5, 2015

24/7

Source: Google Images
We have always spoken that it would be damn cool to be working from home and owning our own business. When you want something, doesn't necessarily mean you will still want it when you get it. It was all great the first week or so, but then, 24/7 being with each other... is no joke. It took me some adjustments. I have a routine that I follow, the chores, the work etc. Now having hubs home, I chose to let those routine be gone. Which was obviously my doing. So now, we are slowly getting into a routine, together.  Hopefully in the next few days, we will be into a nice workable routine and our days won't be so chaotic anymore. It is not that we are busy all the time, it is just that our routines between each other were chaos. This made the days just go by us. Next thing we know, like now, it's already 5.45pm! 

Art, in itself, is an attempt to bring order out of chaos. - Stephen Sondheim

Monday, May 4, 2015

Words of "Wisdom"

A few days ago I was at my mother's. She got rather upset that her nephew is having another baby and I on the other hand, couldn't contain my joy. Mistake 1. 

I was so excited waiting for the birth of their baby and I went on blabbling about it. Mistake 2. 

My grandma then looked at me and said with folded hands, "I hope you will be blessed with a child soon". And in all seriousness, I said "Oh God, no please. I don't want a child. I am content and happy". Big Mistake No. 3. 

Then my mom asked how could I say such a thing. I replied "Ma, this is a choice I make. I used to want one badly, but look at what not we went through and furthermore after my NLP, I realized that was just what society wants out of me". Huge Mistake No. 4. 

Both the ladies to my dismay, started crying. My mom in between her sobs, said that I am depriving my husband from being a father and my mother in law from being a grandmother. I replied saying that's between us (husband and wife). None of anyone's business. Mistake No. 5.

She even mentioned about her niece who is also pregnant, just after a year of marriage. She admitted to having a pang of jealousy when her sister in law called to inform. I was a little taken aback. Jealous? Really? 

Anyway, she still didn't give up, and said that she wants a grandchild from me. She said she wants someone to call her Nani. I jokingly replied, "Oh, that's it? Sure, no problem, I will get my niece who now calls her Dadi, to call her Nani for a week!". Final mistake.

Then she said something that was painful at that point of time "You will never know the value of a mother only and until you become one". Ouch. 

Advance Happy Mother's Day to all women out there. 
We are all a mother in some ways, be it to our very own child, a niece, a nephew, 
to any child for that matter. We are born with motherly instincts. 
We just nurture the instincts and let it take charge when we carry a child.

Monday, March 23, 2015

What the world has come to

A conversation with my sister in law today led me to write this... 

I seriously can't believe how selfish and low people have become. People as in family and friends. How people talk about you behind your back and in front of you, they not only praise you, but put you on a throne. In return for what? They probably sleep in peace knowing that they have hurt the feelings of another. The more the hurt, the more peaceful the sleep. 

Since my NLP, I had decided to be more open and "out there" - with friends and family alike. We have been joining in the cousins get togethers, etc. Letting these people into our little bubble. Our own very private space. 

In the end what happened? We realized that our perception at the beginning of these people turned out to be true. They are not worth our time and energy and oh, money too. I personally realized that it was a mistake to let anyone in our little bubble. I took it as a learning experience. 

Today when this topic came up with my SIL, I just couldn't help but pour it out on my blog. 

About two weeks ago, I restricted almost 90% of the people on my Facebook. "A bold move" my husband said. But for some reason, I felt it was right. How these people tend to judge us just because we share. Seriously? So now, only Public posts can be viewed by them. Hah!

I couldn't believe my ears when an uncle commented that why we share where we go and that we are loaded with money because we travel! I almost wanted to throw my hot tea at his face! What the fuck man? I am sorry, did we ask any money from you?

And another person said in such a jealous tone that our photos together look happy. Huh? So we are supposed to be sad and miserable?

Oh and the best part was when I got to know from a cousin SIL that a distant aunt - who isn't related to me directly, and who isn't even in Peninsular Msia, can specifically call her sister, who is an aunt, just to announce that hubby and I are in Cameron Highlands for dinner! We are traveling and can spend so much money to go to CH for dinner?! Huh? Do they even know how we ended up in CH? But wait, why bother? People like these will just keep believing whatever they want to and honestly, I don't give a fuck anymore. 

Can we live without a social circle? Of course we can. All we need is a few good people in our lives. We have had enough experience to know who they are. My SIL and brother are definitely the first people. A handful of others who we have come to love. Surprisingly, they are not even immediate family or supposedly besties. 

To you people who sleep in peace by hurting others, intentionally or not, may karma hit you so bad, that the day you have to sleep for good, you will suffer so bad that even God may just close an eye upon you and may everyone you think who loves you, leaves you to die miserably alone. 

Ahhh, feels so good now! 

Ta!