Friday, May 4, 2012

Marriage & Parents

I believe that for a marriage to work, love is definitely needed, but it ain't the only thing. You gotta have a lot more of intangible things for it to work out. Trust for example, is one. Others would include but not limited to, understanding, give and take, respect to name a few.

One more important aspect is in laws interference. Whether it's your in laws, or his in laws.
I was about to walk out of my marriage after 5 years because of my in laws. I could not take it anymore. I was ready to pack my bags, and leave. I would have taken whatever that was under my name and was mine. I was not going to divorce my husband, as I have no issues with him, we had already built that kind of bond where it could only get stronger. My reason for leaving: only 1: my in laws. My reason for never wanting a child before this: only 1: my in laws. And mind you, I am not the type who will run to mommy for rescue. I had a plan. I will rent a place, even if it's just a room, and take it from there. 

Pic courtesy of Google Images
Let's not get into details of what is it that I could not stand that it made me decide to walk away from the house.

Instead, let's ponder. Why do couples allow their parents to have a say in what they do? Why? Why must you consult your parents for everything? Sad, but true. Why get married then? If you still wanna be mommy's little boy, or mommy's little girl... then why bother? Be an adult. I have many who tell me, you shouldn't be like this. But why not? I have my life. I am married. I have the brains to discuss things with my husband. I am earning. I don't neglect my parents. I love them even more now than I ever did in the past. I respect them. I am there for them. BUT I don't consult them, I don't call everyday, I don't meet them every week, I don't call and gossip with my mom, I don't tell her everything we do, where we go, what we bought, etc etc...  Does that make me an ungrateful child? Just because I don't share my everyday life? Nope. I don't think so.

For the men out there, why when you get married, you become so defensive about your parents, especially your mother? Why you suddenly care for her too much, why must you tell her everything? Why? Why let her manipulate you into thinking your wife is a bad person? Why? Why allow her to must have a part in your daily life? Why is it fair for your wife to stay with you and your parents, but not you stay with hers? Why everything to do with your parents is okay, but when it comes to her parents, it's not? Why?

Pic courtesy of Google Images
And for the ladies our there, why must you run to mommy when you have a fight with your husband? Why must you tell your mommy everything? Why must you complain about even the tiniest thing in the world? Why must you cry to your mommy every time you aren't happy about something? Why?

Pic courtesy of Google Images
I was at the Gynea clinic one day, when I saw a couple, together with the husband's mother came for an appointment. The wife was pregnant. At the beginning, the couple went in to see the doctor on their own. A minute later, the husband opens the room door, and called out "Mummy, come in la"... OMG! I just can't imagine how the wife must have felt. As it is from the beginning the wife wasn't even  bothered to listen to her MIL talking to her. And too bad they were Punjabis. So I understood everything! I could see from her facial expression she was annoyed. So can you imagine how she must have felt when the husband called out for his mummy.

I know for a fact that the way I think about these things can be too extreme for some people. So chill. Live your life the way that suits you.

4 comments:

  1. Well written babe!! If ppl insist in running to mommy/daddy then pls dont get married!! Once you're married you are your own family unit and should rely on each other and not others.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thankew! I was just itching to write about this topic! So true, we should rely on each other and not others!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi,
    I saw your post on MB and I totally agree with you! Only if more adults, whether men or women are able to think objectively like you, many marriage troubles related to in-laws would have been saved.
    Good wishes to you & cheers :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Cassandra, thanks so much for dropping by and commenting. Appreciate it! Hehe Yeah... I guess there are some of us who see things in a totally different perspective. Best regards and wishes to you too!

      Delete

Let's communicate!