Monday, May 20, 2013

Scared Shit

My father, my mentor, my teacher, my pillar, my adviser, my friend, my buddy, my spiritual guide, my NanaJi - is ill. Yes, to some of you your grandfather is just a grandfather. To me, he is all that I mentioned and probably more. I was brought up by them ever since I was a baby. I did go back to my parents when I started school only for a few years, and then back again to my grandparents. Hence, he is father, and she my mother. If you can't fathom this bond or the closeness, then probably you shouldn't even continue reading. 

Everyone tells me that he is old and I should start to accept the fact that he may not be around anymore. But it's like I tell you to accept the fact that your father or your mother or even someone you love dearly won't be around anymore - how does that feel? Seriously, right now, I don't want to hear those words. So why do people still go on and on? Yes, he is old, but he is healthier than my own dad. Yes, you read that right. Heck, he even can do stretches better than me! 

It is indeed a scary moment in my life right now. I am just hoping that he would be back to his normal self again. I dread the day I wake up and know he is no longer around. 

Amazing how 2013 keeps bringing more and more bad stuff eh? My dad isn't doing good either. But that's not my concern right now. Honestly, my only concern - my grandparents.

Sometimes I just have to let my fear out in here. Thank you to each and everyone of you - for always being there. Yes yes, even the many silent readers (thank you for your emails!). Love you all!  Hugs!

2 comments:

  1. Gosh babe,I'll pray that your dad/nanaji will get better...I used to call my grandmother amma (mother)so i totally get what you mean.

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    1. Thanks so much babe. Not many who would understand. Thank you again. Hugs!

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