Yes, the universal issue / topic / problem! I have had my share of this issue for a long long time. Well from the day I got married and walked into the house to the very second last day of my NLP, Sept 13th 2014, which was also her birthday.
Hubby wasn't too keen in bringing her out to dinner on that day because well, every time we used to, I will end up feeling upset, or annoyed to the very least. And he didn't want to spoil my NLP state especially since I was going to graduate the next day. Anyway, I insisted that we should go out for dinner because it will mean something to her. I mean, c'mon, we all want to feel special on that very special day right?
And so we went to dinner at Madam Kwan and thereafter we went to Starbucks. Yes, my MIL enjoys having coffee from Starbucks too. Let me just sum it up for you on how it went - hubby almost fainted in disbelief that his wife and mother were chatting, laughing, sharing jokes, taking photos, and hugged.
What was different?
Everything that has happened in my life is a consequences of my choices. No one is to be blamed for it. It's a choice I have made all along. Like the trainer replied to one of my statement "I have been sucked dry emotionally, mentally and worse of all financially ever since getting married" - all she said to me was "It was YOUR choice. You chose to be the one to spear head your marriage, your renovations, building your own home. You chose not to wait, but you chose to get things done. So why are you complaining?" - Ouch.
I am not saying that I will have an awesome relationship and bond with my MIL, but I know that I will be very "neutral" inside when I see her from now on. Not how I used to be the moment I even hear her name, voice, or even look at her - so angry and agitated. Well I used to feel the same even from being just at the gate at my parents house! Hah! :p