Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Trying to Conceive

As the year comes to an end, it also marks 1 year since our journey of TTC started.
We have done all the tests that we have been asked to do. We have been to a few different hospitals which in turn means, we have seen few different doctors.
The verdict: Nothing is seriously wrong with either of us.
The solution: 1 specialist just said to my face without hesitating: "Well, what else - IVF!"  To him, being 30 years old, we shouldn't wait any longer.

When I heard that, I was upset and angry.

That was in April.

Thereafter, we still continued to try. We went to a couple of other specialists, and to date, no good news.

It has indeed been a roller coaster ride.

At the beginning of the year, I was very emotional and hopeful.

By second half of the year, I came to a point where I just "gave up" on hoping and decided to just be happy.
I couldn't see my husband trying to put up with my depression state every month. How he tried his very best at every juncture of the day to make me smile and laugh. How he just let me cry, without trying to 'console' cuz at that time, I didn't want to hear any kind of consolation. May God bless him always. For only I know how much he has been there for me. No one can do what he did for me.

Despite being positive, and not even think about TTC, nothing materialized.

Our appointment with the reproductive specialist is in January, first week. In one of the general hospitals. I have postponed that appointment twice, as we decided that it's best we try for 1 year instead of jumping the gun. There is no way I can postpone again as the nurse has already warned me, if I do, I may not get any appointment in the first 6 months of next year.

I have no idea what to expect. Costs for IVF done in private hospitals are very pricey indeed. It can range from RM12,000 to RM20,000 for the first cycle. That is something we can't afford. So I am hoping that the cost in a general hospital would be way cheaper. But how cheap can it be?

If it''s no less than RM5,000 - I may not even want to go ahead with it.
We have lived with each other for 6 years 9 months... We are happy. Having a child will be a blessing. But to spend that much with no guarantee it will be a success the first round - I'm not willing to do so. Unless of course we strike a lottery!

I lived my life as a married woman for so many years killing that instinct of mine to be a mom. I allowed the instinct to come back into my life since we moved out from my MIL's. But hey, I am sure I can kill it again if need be. Though I know, it's going to be very difficult.

And no, if we can't have a child of our own - we'd rather not have one at all. As selfish as that may sound, but that's our decision.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Comfort Food

Hubby and I have been seriously ill for the past week. It all started last Friday night. He was down with fever, cough, flu and of course with all that, body ache and headache had to accompany him too. By Sunday, he was super bad, despite being on antibiotics and meds since Friday. Had to rush him to a nearby clinic and he was given a cold compress immediately as his fever was 39.8 and rising. The doctor told me that I have to monitor him every 2 hours. And Sunday night, I caught the bug! Until today, we are both still recovering. This has been the worst bug ever. Someone even told me "hey, maybe the next thing you know, you are pregnant!". Yeah, I wish. To top it off, my periods came a week earlier! 

Anyway, back to the topic, we all have our own comfort foods. For me, I just wanted to have khichaddi or our version of porridge. The original version is just fragrant rice, lentils and spices. But I of course had to have my twist to it. I took out my pressure cooker, put it the washed brown rice - once the whistle blew twice, I added cumin seeds, cinnamon stick, lentils, carrots, onions, ginger and green peas. Let it boil and cook for another 2 to 3 whistles. Then of course, add salt and pepper to taste. And I added a little bit of raisins. Yes, no frying anything, and no oil. Oh and btw, if you want, you can add 1 tablespoon of ghee right at the end. Best served with fresh home made yoghurt! Yummiee! 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Epilator vs Shaving vs Waxing

Yeah, I've tried it all. And the winning prize goes to......

*drum roll*

The Epilator!
Yeap, the epilator gives the best results!

Now coming from someone who can't run away from having lots of hair everywhere (oh c'mon you dirty minded people!)... For my facial hair, I have no choice but to do a full face threading every two weeks at least. Yes, it hurts!

For the hair on my legs, I used to wax, once in a while, but then it started becoming too pricey to be spending money on waxing every now and then. Like I said, I have lots of hair. Then I started shaving. Every other day, if I have to. All of a sudden, last week, I recalled I had an epilator. My sister in law gave it to me many years back (well, at that time, she was yet to be my SIL, and mind you, she's been my SIL for almost 12 years now). I used it a long time ago, and decided to try it out again. And what do you know, it never failed me! No wonder I didn't discard it! No stubs, no inner hair growth, no itchiness - just smooth hairless legs! I used it last Thursday, and till today, there's still no sign of hair. Isn't that awesome?

Seriously, thank you my dear SIL, for giving me this awesome gift!

As I write this, I also remember a friend of mine, R, who uses an epilator too, and she has smooth sexy legs each time I see her. Now, how can I have forgotten about my faithful epilator!

All you need to do is spend some time as it is more time consuming than shaving or waxing. But maybe you got to do it only once a week (Or maybe even a fortnight!). Imagine, no worries of suddenly walking out wearing a skirt or a 3 quarter pants and realizing you forgot to shave! And no need to deal with itchy legs after shaving! I hate that feeling!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Nasi No Lemak!

Its name is a Malay word that literally means "fatty rice" - wikipedia

As Malaysians, we can't run away from the fact that we love to eat Nasi Lemak! No matter how much we adapt a healthy lifestyle, nasi lemak is not something we will never eat. Hubby and I are no exception!

But I make my own version of nasi lemak. It's without the 'lemak' i.e. without any coconut milk. It tastes almost the same as how it would if you'd use coconut milk. Key word: almost the same.

For the first time I cooked petai. I have never eaten petai in my 30 years of existence. A friend of mine gave me some peeled ones, and I decided to make petai + anchovies sambal for the nasi lemak.

Nasi No Lemak!
Wonder why the egg looks so glistering when so little oil was used.
Must be the lighting I suppose.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A wee bit of shopping & pampering

Last weekend, I had a UTI attack (yet again!). So my weekend was quite bad. On Monday (it was a PH), I was feeling better, so hubby decided to take me out as I was running out on my facial wash. Ended up, I did a manicure pedicure and bought a couple of things too! Hubby was of course very happy that I shopped for myself!

If I do need to get a manicure pedicure, and it so happens we are in MidValley, I will make my way to MJ Nails Spa in Metrojaya. They are very friendly and professional. I have been to quite a few nail salons, but always feel not welcomed. At MJ Nails Spa, even though they can't speak really good English, they still try to have a conversation with you, and offer suggestions. It's really cozy despite being in a small space. Anyway, I just fell in love with the color!

And for the first time, I own 2 fancy belts! Hey, stop laughing! I'm taking baby steps in the shopping / dressing up department okay?!  :p

Soon, will do a review on Biotherm facial cleanser from a layman point of view.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Quick but reasonably healthy cooking :)

Over the couple of weeks, hubby requested for maggie goreng. It was so simple, yet delicious! I don't use the oil or soy sauce that is given in the packet. I just stir fry some onions and frozen vege over medium heat on a non stick with no oil, and then throw in some spinach, the maggie that was soaked and water drained and tossed with some dark soya sauce and scrambled eggs.

Another was when I was alone at home and super hungry during lunch. I took a small can of curry baked bean by heinz, mixed it in some left over rice over a non stick pan, and pan fried a fish fillet :)  Oh and some scrambled eggs for this too!

And the last photo, is of the yee mee I made. Hubby prefers the thicker mee, compared to the mee that is easily available. I didn't use corn starch for the soup, instead I used whole wheat flour. All you need is just a bit, so it doesn't alter the taste at all!

On another note, just wanted to share how you can keep your greens such as spinach super fresh. 
I washed the spinach in salt water and let it sit to dry. Once it's fully dried, put it in a colander and then in the fridge. This is the picture of my spinach that was 1 week old. It didn't wither, or change color. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Diwali 2011

Yes, we celebrate. Our ancestors hail from north India. So, yeap, we do celebrate. But our way of celebrating is different. Not extravagant. No open house, or inviting family and friends etc. I mean, if you have read this post, you would know why  :) 

Anyway, I was not really in the mood to celebrate. Although I should, since this year is the year we were settled and were in our own home. It can be considered that this year is our first Diwali. I only decided on the eve morning that I should get out of it and actually do something! So I took half day leave. Left office at 12pm, reached home and started to prep. Made achi murukku (the flower thing). I used the premixed flour, but instead of coconut milk as suggested, I mixed it with low fat milk and added sesame seeds. It turned out quite good actually! And then I went on to make home made almond chocolate, cheesecake, barfi (again using low fat milk and brown sugar).


The cleaning after the whole afternoon of preparing for Diwali was crazy. I was so exhausted at the end of the day, but satisfied with myself. Cleaned not only the kitchen, but the whole house. Did laundry as well. Oh boy!

When hubby got back from work, he was shocked, and pleasantly surprised too to see the home and of course to see me out of my depression thingy. Anyway, we also put up some lights outside. I lit up some candles too at home.

The next day, woke up, did some prayers, made some parshad (some sweet pudding), and then both side parents came over. Yeap, the MIL and my parents! It was not too bad. Though we hoped they would have left sooner :) Hubby had to go to work thereafter, so I accompanied him. And the evening was quiet. Overall, it was good.

Thanks to an online friend, who listened to my ramblings and took the time to reply and knock some sense in my head! *hugs*


If you are still keen in reading my writings, ramblings and rants, do check out www.venomjoy.blogspot.com