Thursday, August 16, 2012

My Grandparents, My Parents

Confused with the title? Yes, my grandparents are my parents. Since I was a baby, I was sent to my grandparents to be taken care of. I grew up in their arms, their comfort, their love, their care, their protection, their teachings - everything is to do with them.

Last Friday night, I had the worst nightmare being awake. Before I continue, if you are wondering how come then on Saturday I had a post on the Pork Tenderloin - it's because I write quite a lot, and it's all scheduled to be automatically published.

At approximately 4.30pm, I got a call from my cousin sister in law, D. She asked me if I knew that grandma had a fall and is being rushed to Temerloh Hospital as we speak. My reaction "WHAT?!". Immediately told her I will call her back. Called my Mom, my granddad, their house phone as well in Pahang - all no answer. I called my uncle (their son), and he didn't know anything about it. I called D again, asked how she knew, she said her husband had text her. I tried again calling the numbers over and over again, still nothing. Finally after a few calls, my mom picked up. I asked her do you know that grandma had a fall. She said yes, that A from our hometown just called. She was so calm about it. I said, Mom, we are going. Then she was want to go all the way? Then I realized, she must have mistaken grandma with A's mom. We call her the same. I asked my mom, who do you think had a fall, your mother, or A's mother? She replied A's mother. I said no, it's our mother. She said I call you back, let me call A. Hardly 10 minutes later she calls me back, crying away. Can't even speak to me. In that instant, I knew it. I just told her, we are going. Decide if you want to come with us.

In the mean time I was already informing hubby. I didn't know he had left his office immediately when I confirmed it's our grandma. I left office. Trying to refrain from bursting out crying. I waited till I got to my car and that's it. I couldn't stop. Then I decided I had to call my boss and tell her. Because I have no idea how long will I be away. I could hardly speak to her. But I managed to convey the message.

I got home, trembling still, managed to have a quick shower, threw some change in a bag, and waited for hubby to reach. I couldn't do anything. Just sat. In between calls kept coming in. Hubby arrived moments later, and said, let's go. I said hold on, my mom and uncle were deciding to go or not. Hubby said, we are not going to wait (which was of course what I had in mind too). So we both left. Headed to Raub. The jam was horrible. Since it was after office hours and during the fasting month, the jam is just bad. It took us easily an hour and a half to two hours just to hit the highway. We reached Raub and kept in touch with my granddad. They were suppose to leave Temerloh Hsp soon. So we went and met A and family. To thank them for being there when all this happened as no one was with my grandparents. They were left alone as their elder son and DIL had gone for a holiday. Which they always seem to be doing and letting grandparents fend for themselves. I despise them for this and for treating them like they are a burden. After about 30 minutes, we get the updated information that only grandfather is coming back, and grandma has to be admitted there. Grandfather is old and is definitely not able to cope roughing it out in the hospital. Immediately without hesitating, we went back to A and family, told them to please look after granddad and make him stay over at their place. Not to allow him to be alone after what has happened. He was very emotional. 

We rushed and well, kind of sped to Temerloh Hsp. We got permission from the guard to visit my grandma, and thereafter I got a pass for myself to stay over. Oh my God, when I saw her, I was devastated. This is by far the worst fall she has ever had. Thanks to hubby who in the lift told me, to not cry in front of her and not let her break down either. If it wasn't for my hubby by my side, I don't think so I will be strong enough to face all this. 

Grandma was shocked to see us there. She kept crying. She couldn't breathe through her nose at all. Her whole right side face was swelled up. Her eye couldn't open. Her eye lids all swelled up as well. Blue black marks on her whole right face. Describing it makes me wanna cry. She's so fragile and has shrunk a lot lately and to know that this has happened to her - I couldn't swallow it. But I had to. Because I am the closest to them. Because I am their everything. Because I am not their granddaughter, I am their daughter. Closer than their daughter in fact. But when she closed eyes to rest, I cried my heart out. 

I kept giving updates to my mom, my brother who is overseas, and my uncle (their younger son who is a Dr).

I didn't sleep even a bit as I was so worried about her. Since she couldn't breath at all through her nose, her mouth kept getting dry, and she wakes up jolting suddenly - perhaps because of the whole event. She was very shaken up. 

There was so much going on - non stop with doctors and nurses talking to me about all sorts of things.  Long story short, we brought her back to Raub on Saturday night. And on Sunday, we brought her to KL. My uncle being in the medical line and ex director of a gov hsp, made appointments with the specialists in Putrajaya Hsp on that Monday itself - for eyes & ENT. Hoping that the next follow up will show some improvement.

They have been staying with us since Sunday evening. Usually they stay with my mom, but my parents had planned for a trip to visit my brother and family a while ago. It just so happened that this incident took place a week before their trip. But although there's lots to do, and to also keep coming to office, I am very grateful that I got this chance to take care of them. Yes, I rush to office, rush back lunch time, and back again to office. But it's fulfilling. I do not feel tired at all. Not one bit. Maybe I will burn out later, I don't know. I am also thankful to my boss, who understands my situation and my bond with them. Who has told me to take leave when I deem necessary. So I have opted to take half days, not everyday, but perhaps every other day. 

Yes, I will forgo everything if I have to for them. I will leave my job if need be to take care of them. I will do anything for them. 

I am thankful my husband understands this bond. They are truly my parents. Two people who planted great seeds in me. All good that I have in me is thanks to them. They helped me paint my blank canvas with colors of love. They have helped me and hubby in a lot of ways - without hesitating. They do things for me that even some parents don't do for their children. 


  1. Gosh babe, so sorry to hear, hope your grandma is feeling better. It hurts when a loved one is in pain. I hope she recovers well and you're so sweet for taking care of her. Hug her for me for being an awesome grandma/mom to you!

    1. Thanks babe! I too hope she recovers well and I honestly hope when they head back to Raub, they will be taken care of. Not left alone most times, being shouted at, food has a strict timing... sigh. I will give her a tight hug from you! Thanks babe! *hugs*

  2. hope she recovers soon. i remember my greatgranma (which to us is like our granma. she raised my mom) when she had a fall. this broke her hipbone and she couldn't walk again after.

    she was recovering from a stroke when that happened and it made the condition worst. she's gone now but looking back... i felt i could've done better. visited her more at least.

    anyways... with the way u're going now. i'm sure u guys wont have that kind of regret.

    1. I hope so too. I do feel bad because we too hardly go back to visit them. I call them every other day though. But it doesn't make up for the visits. I hope that we will be able to visit them often. I shudder at the thought that they may not be with us for a long time.

      Thank you for sharing and thank you for your well wishes.


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